I'm getting by by Ben from 25 September 2019

How are you?
I’m ok.
How’s it going lately?
Oh, you know. I’m getting by. You?
Oh yeah, I’m ok.

You know how many times I have had this conversational dialogue with people lately? Alot! Speaking of alot… alot of life has been happening to me lately. As you may or may not know; my Gma passed away at the beginning of last month. It has been a hectic storm of work and phones calls ever since. I haven’t really had much free time for security and OSCP practice since it happened. I'm not sure ill get much going forward until things settle down. I’ve been mainly trying to maintain two houses, move from one to the other, get ready to move forward with estate business stuff like sales and dividing property, and all the while trying to court and retain a new lady friend.

It’s been stressful to say the least. One silver lining, I guess, I’m not sure if this is from being busy or haven taken care of her for three years now and seeing her decline but, I haven't been as emotional as I thought I’d be. When my gpa passed I had several emotional outbursts, and it's not to say I haven't had any emotions this time around, but my emotional response is much more muted and level then it has been in the past. I miss her dearly and wish every day I could have her back, but I am also not sitting around blubbering constantly like past me has done before. I don't know. Just something I have noticed.

Also, I need a day off. Between packing, moving, filing, boxing, unboxing, finding, arranging, mailing, mowing, mowing, and mowing I’ve not been much fun. There is no shortage of things to do and not enough time to do them in. But that is the way it goes… I say to myself as I pick up another mouse poop covered file from the 70s.

Really though.. I’m getting by. I got a lot of life going on but I’m getting by.